The Princess and the Pirates

 

 

Ter-Terin the wizard bustled Princess Johanna through the open door and slammed it shut behind them. He waved a hand at it in an intricate pattern, moments before a thunderous explosion burst against it. Its timbers groaned in protest and orange flames crackled and hissed around its edges, but it held shut.

 

‘We must hurry, your highness!’ he gasped. ‘My spell will not hold Clo-Clovis for long. King Loman’s wizard is more powerful than I.’

 

‘What about mother and father and my brother?’ Johanna asked in alarm. ‘What’s become of them?’

 

‘They are probably captured by now… or worse.’

 

Johanna’s eyes filled with tears and Ter-Terin patted her shoulder.

 

‘There was little that could be done, your highness,’ he said. ‘We are a small kingdom and King Loman’s his army is large.’

 

Johanna sniffed and quickly wiped her eyes.

 

‘This is because father refused him my hand in marriage, isn’t it?’ she said angrily.

 

Ter-Terin nodded.

 

‘He wants our rich lands to grow food for his armies,’ he replied. ‘As heir to throne, you would have given him that. He will still marry you if he catches you and it won’t matter what your father says.’

 

‘What… what am I to do?’ Johanna asked, the thought of being married to the loathsome king making her shudder.

 

‘You must flee, your highness,’ the wizard replied. ‘That is why I brought you here to my study. Here my magic is strongest and it will give me time to get you away. We must conjure you away to somewhere safe.’

 

Suddenly a fresh explosion boomed against the door and flames hissed around its edges. Then a voice was heard.

 

‘Open the door Ter-Terin! Give me the princess!’

 

‘We don’t have much time, your highness,’ Ter Terin said. ‘Clo-Clovis will have the door open shortly.’

 

He went to the large desk in the room that was littered with parchments and books. The disorder was much like the rest of the study, a bookcase against each wall that was cluttered with items. Opening a draw of the desk, he lifted out a small bag cloth bag and placed it into her hands.

 

‘Some money for you, your highness,’ he said. ‘It is enough to live comfortably on… you could buy a farm or a business…’

 

‘But you’re coming with me… aren’t you?’ Johanna asked in fresh alarm.

 

The wizard shook his head.

 

‘I can’t, your highness. If I do, Clo-Clovis can follow the trail of my magic and find us,’ he replied.

 

‘But I can’t let you be captured too!’ Johanna exclaimed, dismay in her voice.

 

‘I’ll be fine, don’t worry,’ he said with a sly grin. ‘Once I have conjured you away I can escape if I am alone. It may be a while, but I’ll come and find you.’

 

Johanna didn’t like what she was hearing, but she knew that Ter-Terin would not be saying this without good reason. He had been her family’s wizard for many generations.

 

‘Where… where will you send me?’ she asked.

 

‘To the Kingdom of the Clouded Moon,’ he replied. ‘It’s far enough away where you will not be recognized and the people there are friendly to strangers.’

 

Another explosion boomed against the door and it creaked ominously.

 

‘There’s no more time!’ he said and placed a hand on her forehead. ‘Good luck, your highness.’

 

He went to concentrate on conjuring her to where he had intended, but as he was casting the spell, the door burst apart from a blast of wizard power. His concentration was broken and the conjuring spell he had made wavered as Johanna disappeared. As soldiers rushed into the room with drawn swords he quickly conjured himself away, thinking as he did so that he had no idea where he had sent her.

 

*

 

Johanna was looking at Ter-Terin one moment and in the next she was swallowed by an inky darkness. Immediately she felt the affects of conjuring, her feet swelling, her belly bulging and her tongue trying to leap from her mouth. Then just as quickly light returned and she sagged to her knees into what felt like sand.

 

She opened her eyes and found she was in a large cave with a sandy floor, the air lit by burning torches stuck in cracks in the dark rock walls. Then she gasped, startled at the dozen or so men standing about open chests filled with treasure.

 

They were dressed in knee length trousers and colourful vests that revealed muscular chests. Many had coloured scarves tied around their foreheads and all wore heavy gold or silver earrings. A couple had dark patches over an eye and all were armed with cutlass and dagger.

 

It took only a moment for the word pirates to flash in her mind and a feeling of despair filled her. Where had Ter Terin sent her?

 

The pirates too had been startled by her sudden appearance.

 

‘A witch!’ one cried out.

 

At that the whole cave erupted in wild shouting as they drew their weapons.

 

‘She’ll turn us into tadpoles!’ cried another voice.

 

‘That’s a frog, Wartface,’ corrected another.

 

‘A newt!’ shouted another in panic.

 

‘Now hold on, lads!’ said a commanding voice and the cave quickly fell silent. ‘All witches have black eyes. This girl has blue.’

 

Johanna suddenly felt strong hands lift her up and she looked up at a tall man. He was heavily  muscled, bald and wore a thick gold earring in each ear. He was dressed in a bright crimson vest and trousers.

 

‘Who are you girl and where have you come from?’ he asked firmly.

 

Johanna thought he must be the captain and at any other time she would have given him a sound scolding for talking to a princess like that. But the affects of the conjuring and the horror of being captured by pirates was just too much and she fainted.

 

*

 

When she woke again it was to the softness of a bed under her and sheets and blankets covering her. They all smelt a little of salt and there was a light sensation of rising and falling as if she was in something moving. She opened her eyes and found that she was in a ship’s cabin.

 

She also realized that she only had her underwear on under the sheets and her face went bright red. I’ve been undressed she thought… by pirates! Her own kingdom was by the sea and she had heard many tales about pirates and the terrible things they did to captives. And now she was their prisoner and they had... undressed her!

 

There was a sudden knock on the door of the cabin and it opened and two pirates came in. One was the captain who had helped her up in the cave and the other was a cheerful looking man with a huge belly.

 

‘Ah, so you’re...’ the captain began, only to be interrupted by a furious Johanna.

 

‘How dare you! How dare you!’ she exclaimed as she sat up, quickly pulling the sheets up to her chin. ‘You undressed a princess!’

 

‘But…’ said the captain.

 

‘But nothing! If I was at home I could have you whipped, I could have you...’

 

‘You were sick,’ the captain managed to get in.

 

A startled Johanna paused from her scolding.

 

‘I beg your pardon?’ she asked frostily.

 

‘You were sick when you fainted and it got all over your clothes,’ the captain replied.

 

Johanna’s stomach gurgled at the description.

 

‘Please... I’ll be sick again!’

 

The captain laughed and then to her surprise, both bowed low before her.

 

‘Allow me to introduce ourselves,’ he said. ‘I am Crimson Bone, captain of this fine ship, The Jolly Jester. This is Bloat Belly, ship’s cook and good friend. If you have been offended your highness, then I apologize most humbly.’

 

Johanna’s eyes narrowed, wondering whether he was making fun of her.

 

‘Apology accepted,’ she replied coolly.

 

‘So, now that you’re awake, would you care to tell us where you suddenly conjured from?’ Crimson Bone asked.

 

Tears filled her eyes at that and she suddenly let out a sob.

 

‘My… my kingdom’s been invaded and my family captured… or worse!’

 

‘There, there, child,’ Bloat Belly said in concern, coming over to the bed and patting her on a shoulder. ‘Why don’t you tell us what happened.’

 

‘Well... well, you see it all happened this way...’

 

She told them she was the heir to the Kingdom of the Chill Moon and how her castle had been attacked by King Loman’s soldiers during a supposedly friendly visit. How her family’s wizard Ter-Terin had managed to avoid the soldiers and get her to his study to conjure her to safety.

 

‘He said he was going to conjure me to the Kingdom of the Clouded Moon… but then I appeared in the cave.’

 

‘Well, you’re a long way from there,’ Crimson Bone said. ‘His concentration must have been broken during the spell casting.’

 

‘Then… where am I?’ Johanna asked.

 

‘Well, you’re off the coast of the Kingdom of the Stormy Moon,’ the pirate replied. ‘Your kingdom lies a week’s sailing over the Misty Sea to the east. The Kingdom of the Clouded Moon is double that to the south.’

 

Fresh tears filled Johanna’s eyes.

 

‘What... what is to become of me?’ she asked in despair.

 

‘Nothing awful, I can assure you, princess,’ Crimson Bone said reassuringly. ‘Pirates we may be, in a manner of speaking, but we’re not kidnappers. Now, there’s a bathtub in the room off that door and I’ve just had it filled with hot water. There are also some clothes in there that might fit you. Have a wash and change and come up on deck. The sea air will do you good.’

 

And with another bow, Crimson Bone led Bloat Belly out of the cabin.

 

When the door closed behind them Johanna got out of bed and opening the door, stepped into a small room. Sitting in the middle of the floor was a large copper tub full of steaming water that looked very inviting. There were clothes laid out on a chair, a pair of dark trousers and bright blue tunic.

 

After a long, soaking bath she felt much better and dressing, went up on deck. It was a fine day outside and the ship’s sails were filled with a good breeze. They were leaving behind a coastline of tall, dark-stoned cliffs and heading out to sea.

 

There was no sign of Crimson Bone, but a young pirate about her own age stepped up to her.

 

‘Hi, there!’ he said cheerfully, quite unlike a pirate Johanna thought. ‘My name’s, Shark Bait. Crimson Bone said I was to show you around a bit.’

 

Johanna introduced herself and Shark Bait led her off across the deck toward the prow. It gave her a chance to have a good look at the ship and what she saw shocked her. The Jolly Jester was not what she expected a pirate ship would be like. From what she knew about them, they were supposed to be sleek vessels built for speed for overtaking ships to plunder.

 

But The Jolly Jester was nothing more than a trading ship suited for keeping the coast well in view. Certainly not for sailing too long on the open sea and she didn’t think it could chase down anything short of a rowboat. Yet when she looked over the bow she found they were moving through the water at a very brisk pace. She thought there was something odd about the way in which they were moving, but couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

 

The crew on the other hand was exactly how she expected pirates to look. They were a tough, wicked looking lot, most with scars on their bodies from battles she imagined and many with colourful tattoos. At the moment most were lounging around on the deck sharpening weapons.

 

It didn’t take long to walk around the entire ship and at the end Johanna found herself thirsty. She asked Shark Bait where she could find a glass of water.

 

‘Bloat Belly can give you something,’ he said.

 

He led her to a narrow doorway below the upper deck where the ship’s wheel was. Crimson Bone had appeared and he waved cheerfully at her as she disappeared through the door. Most strange for a pirate, she thought.

 

She found the big-bellied pirate in a small galley, where cooking instruments and pots hung from ceiling hooks as well as garlands of herbs, onions and garlic. Bloat Belly was busily stirring the contents of a large copper pot sitting on a stove and it smelt awfully good, almost good enough for her to think of eating.

 

‘Ah, a visitor!’ he said with a friendly grin.

 

‘I’m... I’m a bit thirsty,’ Johanna said.

 

‘Say no more,’ he replied. ‘How about an orange juice and maybe a pain potion for your conjuring headache?’

 

Johanna nodded as she did have a bad headache from the conjuring. Bloat Belly poured her a mug of juice from a barrel and mixed in some potion from a bottle.

 

‘Thank you, er... Bloat Belly,’ Johanna said as she took the mug and drank gratefully. ‘Your stew smells very good. You should be cooking in a decent tavern or inn, not on a pirate ship.’

 

‘Well, I actually owned an inn once,’ Bloat Belly replied.

 

‘Really, where?’ she asked.

 

‘In a town called Dove in the Kingdom of the Snow Moon, which is a long way from any sea I might add,’ he replied.

 

‘So how did you get here?’ Johanna asked.

 

‘Well, to cut a long story short, the inn burnt down one night and I lost everything except the land. So I sold it and headed to the coast to see if I could find work. Got a job in an inn and soon after met Crimson Bone. He tasted some of my cooking and offered me a job on The Jolly Jester. I’d always wanted to go sailing, so I took it.’

 

‘Well… you don’t sound very much like a pirate,’ Johanna said.

 

Bloat Belly grinned slyly.

 

‘Well, The Jolly Jester wasn’t a pirate ship at the time,’ he replied mysteriously. ‘She was what you see, just a simple trading ship.’

 

Johanna frowned. This was getting stranger all the time, she thought.

 

‘Then how did you all become pirates?’

 

‘Well...’ Bloat Belly began, but a sudden shout was heard from the deck above and then the pounding of running feet.

 

‘I think you’re about to find out why,’ he said.

 

‘What’s going on,’ Johanna asked.

 

‘We’ve spotted a ship,’ Bloat Belly replied.

 

They went up on deck to find the crew bustling about in earnest, some climbing up the rigging and unfurling extra sails. As soon as they were down they filled with wind and the ship picked up speed.

 

They went up onto the upper deck where Crimson Bone and Shark Bait were. The pirate captain was looking through an eyeglass out to sea.

 

‘That’s the Desert Dove all right,’ he said as they joined them.

 

‘So you’re going to attack it,’ Johanna said.

 

‘Aye, we are at that, princess,’ Crimson Bone agreed with a grin.

 

‘But...’

 

‘But what?’

 

‘Well, innocent sailors will die,’ Johanna said, feeling foolish for telling a pirate such a thing.

 

‘We won’t harm a soul, will we, Bloat Belly?’ Crimson Bone said with a wink.

 

‘No, skipper… not a soul,’ the pirate replied.

 

Johanna frowned in confusion, but said nothing as Crimson Bone turned to the crew.

 

‘Haul our flag, lads and let them know who we are.’

 

A flag was smartly raised up the main mast. It was a large black one with a picture of red and leering goblin’s skull on it.

 

The Jolly Jester was now surging forward, its full sails driving it faster and faster through the water. Then Johanna realized what she had thought unusual. The sea around them was too calm for the amount of wind that was in the sails, with only a gentle swell disturbing it. She realized that the ship was being driven forward by a wind spell. But if that were so, where was the wizard making the spell?

 

Shortly she spotted a white sailed ship a few leagues away and it wasn’t long before they drew alongside it. As they did the sails went slack as if the wind had been just turned off.

 

The pirate crew sprang up into the rigging with their weapons and began to yell horrible curses and threats at the trader’s crew who looked suitable terrified. Then Crimson Bone climbed into some rigging and the shouting died away. Johanna had to admit he looked very impressive with his drawn cutlass gleaming in the sunlight.

 

‘Ahoy there, captain of the Desert Dove,’ he called out. ‘It’s Crimson Bone here and I would speak with you a moment.’

 

There was a moment’s pause and then a man pushed his way forward amongst the crew.

 

‘What do you want, you thieving sea snake!’ he yelled back.

 

‘Now, captain, we have a lady on board,’ Crimson Bone replied with a wink at Johanna. ‘Can’t have you swearing like that.’

 

‘What kind of lady would be with your scurvy lot!’ another voice yelled back.

 

A chilly silence greeted that remark from the pirate crew.

 

‘Shut up, you idiot!’ someone hissed on the trader.

 

‘Well, what is it you want?’ the captain asked.

 

‘I think you know what I want,’ Crimson Bone replied grimly. ‘If you’d just kindly send across any treasure you have on board we’ll let you go. Otherwise, we’ll board and scuttle you and leave you to the sharks!’

 

There was a moment’s pause and then the captain nodded.

 

‘Very well, we’ll send a boat across.’

 

At that the pirate crew began shouting again, hurling more insults and threats at the trader crew. They begged Crimson Bone to let them chop off some heads and make a few walk the plank. But Crimson Bone held up a hand and the shouting died away with a mumbling and grumbling.

 

Shortly a rowboat was lowered from the trader and set out across the water to The Jolly Jester. Two large chests were hauled on board and then the pirate ship swung away. Another mysterious fresh wind filled the sails and they quickly left it behind.

 

Crimson Bone opened the treasure chests as the crew crowded round. They made appreciative murmurs at the glint of gold and silver coins, rubies, sapphires and emeralds, jewelled rings and bracelets.

 

‘What a haul!’ exclaimed the pirate called Wartface.

 

Crimson Bone picked up one ring with a fiery red ruby in it and rolled it between his fingers.

 

‘I think this is it, lads,’ he proclaimed. ‘This should finish off King Kadim once and for all.’

 

A cheer went up from the crew and they began to dance about the deck whilst Johanna eyed Crimson Bone with a frown.

 

‘There’s something not quite right here,’ she said.

 

Crimson Bone grinned, his white teeth flashing.

 

‘Noticed the wind, eh?’

 

Johanna nodded.

 

‘There’s obviously a spell making it, but if that’s true, where’s the wizard making it?’

 

‘Let’s go down to my cabin and have a lemonade whilst I tell you how The Jolly Jester became a pirate ship.’

 

Shortly Crimson Bone, Johanna, Bloat Belly and Shark Bait were in the cabin.

 

‘Now you’ve probably guessed that The Jolly Jester was not always a pirate ship,’ Crimson Bone began. ‘She’s just as you see her, a trader I bought some years ago. Anyway, about two years ago we were heading up the coast not far from here when we came across a sinking ship. We boarded her and found nearly all on board slain.’

 

‘How awful!’ Johanna said in horror.

 

‘Aye, and the tale is a little like your own, princess. The ship was a royal one of the King of the Kingdom of the Stormy Moon and had been carrying the king and all his family. We found just two survivors. Shark Bait here and a wizard called Dam-Damek, who was beyond helping. Before he died he told us that they had come across a ship in apparent distress, but on boarding it, they were attacked by soldiers hiding on board. They were belonged to a King Kadim of the Kingdom of the Shadow Moon.

 

‘I asked him if there was anything we could do and he said if we would avenge his king’s death, he would lay a spell on our ship that would make it impossible for any other to catch us. I asked him how and he said that when he died, his spirit would merge with my ship and give it its own winds to command. No ship would be able to out sail us and we could plunder Kadim’s ships easily.

 

‘Well, I couldn’t really say no to a dying man and the idea sounded exciting, so I agreed. Since then we’ve been raiding King Kadim’s ships and right now he’s not very popular and close to being deposed. With The Desert Dove plundered today it will be a certainty and Dam-Damek’s king will have been avenged.’

 

‘But surely it can’t be this easy all the time?’ Johanna asked in wonder. ‘Surely some of the crews fight you.’

 

‘Actually they don’t,’ Crimson Bone said flatly. ‘Sailors don’t get paid to fight pirates. You’ve seen my crew. Would any sailor with a wife and kids take on such villainous looking lot?’

 

‘I suppose not,’ Johanna laughed. ‘They certainly look like pirates with their tattoos and the awful threats they shouted at the trader’s crew.’

 

‘Well, most sailors have tattoos,’ Crimson Bone replied. ‘The threats are all a bluff.’

 

‘But surely this King Kadim has tried to catch you?’ Johanna asked.

 

‘Oh, yes,’ he replied. ‘But he's not loved by his own people and we make sure most of the treasure we plunder goes to them. They in turn spy for us and let us know which ships to avoid. Once they get rid of him, we’ll go back to being simple traders again… with a very fast ship.’

 

Johanna was silent for few moments and then asked.

 

‘So the spell won’t just fade away?’ she asked. ‘It would work anywhere?’

 

‘Dam-Damek said it would last as long as the ship does,’ Crimson Bone replied and Johanna suddenly smiled, a sly gleam in her eyes.

 

‘Then how about helping me get my kingdom back?’ she asked.

 

Crimson Bone rubbed his chin thoughtfully and then grinned in a very pirate way.

 

‘Sure, why not,’ he replied.

 

Which of course is exactly what they did.